Chat Log ::
by blumarine
Summary: Hidan surfs the internet. Deidara has some questions. Rated M for language


Hidan moved the cursor across the screen to click on the first search result. The screen turned white before pictures of various sceneries began to load.

"Shitty internet," he mumbled as he impatiently tapped his finger on the mouse button, watching the hourglass turn over and over.

There was a soft tinkle and a message alert appeared on the bottom of his screen. Sighing when he saw who sent the message, Hidan reluctantly opened the chat window.

_[Hey Hidan]_

What is it?

[The internet is so slow D:]

Tell Kakuzu. He's the one who picked the cheapest and shittiest package from the range.

[You tell him. He's your partner .]

Yeah right. Like hell he'll listen to me. He might as well listen to Sharky sing YMCA.

[LOL it was hilarious!You should've joined us.]

No thanks…I'd rather pray than have an ear bleed.

[So what are you doing online? You're not on much]

Just checking some websites…

[Checking out porn? *smirk*]

fuck you…of course not, you dipshit!

[then what?]

Jashin stuff. Heathens like yourself wouldn't understand it.

[I don't believe you. You're surfing Pr0nnnzzz! I have a good list here if you're interested. Saves you all that searching that is bad for the environment]

I am NOT so _**go away!**_

Hidan closed the window and continued to surf the new website he found. He was reading the menu on the right column when a message alert appeared again at the bottom of the screen, blinking a bright orange.

_[Hey Hidan]_

WHAT?!

[Can I ask you something?]

….you already did

[Ever had sex?]

…What kind of question is that?!

[Duhh….just a question. I'm curious]

It's none of your business

[But if you're supposed to be this religious jerk, then you should be a virgin right?]

...

[Unless…you and the old man have been going at it during your missions D:]

...

[GAHHHH! THAT'S IT! You and Kakuzu are having SEX! OMFG! No wonder you're both always late in your missions]

We're late because Kakuzu keeps getting sidetracked…

[Sidetracked by you? XD]

..Sidetracked by his bounty hunting business.

[You sure? I can see the way he looks at you]

You're crazier than I thought, Dei. Have you been eating clay lately?

[Of course not! And I'm serious. I've seen the way Kakuzu checks you out when you don't notice]

Oh…and have YOU been checking him out then? *smirk*

[What's that supposed to mean? I saw him looking at you]

..cuz you were noticing him, weren't you? So what is it that you like about him, Dei? Is it his eyes or are you just a gold digger after his money?

[Oh shut up, asshole. I'm certainly not checking him out]

There was a short moment of silence before the next line of reply appeared.

[How much money do you think he has?]

Probably enough to buy your sorry ass and pimp you out for more money

[LOL He won't be able to afford me]

Why not? The bastard's loaded.

[Nahh…he's not my type anyway. Not really into tentacles, you know]

Hidan let out a soft laugh before typing his reply

_You really are an idiot_

[You're the idiot for not noticing]

O.o Notice what?

[The way someone looks at you. You're so ignorant of everything else except for your rituals and prayers]

Hey…those are important to me, okay? Just like how you always go on and on about your explosive art. And why the fuck would I care about the way someone looks at me if I'm not going to be interested in a relationship?

[…because it would hurt their feelings, knowing that you'd never take notice of them]

...

[...and they'd end up jacking off in the shower, panting your name when they come! HAHAHAHAHAHAA]

_**OH FUCK YOU, MAN!**___

[I'm serious man. What if the old geezer really does that? All the time thinking of your sweet ass as he pumps his old dick]

_**SHUT UP! **___

[Why? Are you protecting him? Do I hear concern? XD].

Don't make me go over there. I'll kick your ass.

[You think I'm scared of you, shit head? I'll blow your ass back to your village!] 

Hidan got off his chair and headed for the door, pulling it so hard that it almost swung off its hinges. He stormed down the winding corridor towards the second last room on the right, ready to end someone's life.

That would be one person down from his weekly 100-kill quota.

Nice.


End file.
